Saturday, February 25, 2012

2012 Dunk Contest Running Diary

After a power forward averaging 14 rebounds a game wins the three point shootout with two different tie-breaker rounds, the dunk contest is finally here; it's the crown jewel showcase of All-star Saturday night -- well that and the contest where point guards dribble around that dog show obstacle course. I'm picking Jeremy Evans as the winner for the contest. He was openly lobbying to get in the contest for months, so I think he's been lobbying for a long time.

7:22: We start off the contest with a bunch of guys from MIT showing off an invention that displays the energy of each dunk. Um, I think what matters in the contest is creativity and style, not raw power.

7:23: What ever happened to that jump meter where they showed how many inches guys were jumping?

7:24: Wait, how did Dwight's superman dunk rate on the dunk energy meter? He didn't even touch the rim.

7:26: It started? I thought they were just interviewing P. Diddy.

7:27: The race card has been played. Budinger trying not to replicate Chris Anderson. His dunking nickname is Air Bud, after the terrible kid's movie about a dog who plays basketball. Not a good sign.

7:28: Only time I'm wishing a guy gets knocked over when someone tries to dunk over him

7:30: Evans does a reverse dunk with a tiny camera attached to his ear. Would have been more impressive if he did it with one of those huge HD cameras.

7:31: Can I take back my Jeremy Evans pick? Too late?

7:33: Paul George dunks over Roy Hibbert. I just hope it doesn't have the same effect on Hibbert as it did when Vince jumped over Weis.

7:34: Derrick Williams comes out riding on a motorcycle; Minnesota voids his contract

7:36: Williams one-ups Griffin from last year by jumping over a smaller vehicle.

7:38: Barkley jokes that America shouldn't be in charge of voting because they elected Bush twice. He's allowed to say whatever he wants, huh?

7:41: Budinger sees the Williams windmill over the motorcycle, and raises the stake by doing the same dunk without the motorcycle. Nicely done, Air Bud.

7:42: Okay, we're a little spoiled in this dunk contest. That was a huge one handed windmill, but Budinger still isn't helping the white man can't jump thing by performing the worst in a weak contest.

7:43: Back in the 80's that dunk would have been close to a 50. Just sayin'. Difficulty level has been raised to an insane degree.

7:45: Evans keeps the contest alive by dunking two balls at once while jumping over a local high school kid.

7:45: Oh my mistake. That wasn't a high schooler; it was Gordon Hayward of the Jazz.

7:46: For some reason Paul George thinks it's better if people can't see his dunk. I guess he's used to that playing for the Pacers.

7:47: I think some teen girls will vote for Rubio.

7:47: Williams with a 360 off the side of the backboard. That is very difficult to do. Blake couldn't do it last year.

7:48: I still don't understand why voting opened before the first dunks were even completed. The league is just doing that to get the highest number of votes possible so they can say, "Look how popular we are!"

7:52: No way Ceballos couldn't see. How can you run half the court and dunk it without seeing anything?

7:53: Budinger needs help counting. Again, not a good sign.

7:54: Crowd participation apparently more important than the dunks

7:55: Who was Kevin Hart imitating? A stutterer? Yeah, very funny.

7:56: Yes, when I think of the dunk contest, I think of Karl Malone.

7:57: I kinda think jumping over Hibbert is more impressive than 5' 2' Hart

7:58: Paul George invokes the name of Larry Bird for his next dunk. Yet another famous dunker being used.

7:59 Crowd is supporting George by remaining deadly quiet even after he makes it. Don't think they realize how hard it is to touch the far side of one side of the backboard and dunk it on the other

8:01: Don't think Williams has ever done this dunk before. Good choice.

8:03: Oh wait that was it? Only three dunks by each guy. So we trade a two round competition with extra dunks from the best guys for a lame, cardboard presentation and a ton of props?

8:04: By the way, is Kenny Smith trying to take over the dunk contest by himself? He's a self-proclaimed expert, he's been a judge, commentator, participant. I'm pretty sure he's MCing this so he can start a spin-off show.

8:06: Evans wins with 29 percent. There are four guys ... he barely cleared the average of 25%.

8:08: Weak contest, but definitely not the worst ever.

8:09: Worst participant: the crowd. Kenny Smith, your should have been getting the crowd excited and cheering, not being Bob Barker.

8:10: Worst part of the contest, nearly ruinied it (and ruined it to many people): the stupid presentations. No one cares. Just dunk. If you want good acting, you don't turn to NBA players. This was way too scripted.

8:11: After every below average contest, there's always next year. This one still had some classic dunks, however. We'll remember the two ball, lob dunk, the 360 off the side of the glass, and the jump over Hibbert.

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